My husband thinks the neighbors will retaliate over the trash concern – Orlando Sentinel

Pricey Eric: We reside in a giant metropolis the place homes are very shut collectively.

My neighbors maintain their trash bins on the driveway. My front room and kitchen are proper subsequent to their driveway, so I hear banging from the bin lids all day lengthy as they throw away canine waste and extra.

They’ve three canine, and the bin banging begins early, typically earlier than 7 within the morning.

Once I labored I in all probability didn’t discover it as a lot, however I’m retired now, and it’s actually getting on my nerves.

I need to ask them to please try to shut the bin quietly as a substitute of simply letting the lid drop and bang, however my husband thinks they are going to retaliate and make it worse.

We largely have a superb relationship with them, however I don’t need to have this banging the remainder of my life. Ideally, they need to put their bins within the alley, however I might accept quiet shutting as I suppose it’s handy for them to maintain the bins on the driveway. Your ideas?

– Quiet Please

Pricey Quiet: If in case you have a largely peaceful relationship together with your neighbors, it doesn’t appear possible {that a} request like this could escalate to retaliation. It’s an affordable ask, and your options – both shifting the bins or being extra conscientious about shutting them – are seemingly simple to implement.

Whether or not in a giant metropolis with its shut proximities, or a distant piece of land the place the closest home is barely in view, or someplace in between, we’ve got to determine the way to reside in concord with these round us.

As with all different relationship, one of many foundations of fine neighbor-hood is communication. And that runs each methods. If you allow them to know what you’re experiencing, you empower them to make a change. So, don’t be afraid to talk up.

Now, it’s additionally true that some individuals are, effectively, jerks. And if that’s the case and so they set about making extra noise, moderately than much less, you then’ve bought a special concern. However I’m hoping conscientiousness wins out on your sake.

Pricey Eric: I’ve remained shut with my faculty roommate, Chris, for 45 years.

Life has not been simple for her on account of varied well being points which I imagine all stem from her unhealthy consuming habits.

About 10 years in the past, after Chris was laid off from a job she liked and had labored at for years, she discovered herself in a monetary bind. She got here to stick with my household in one other state for a number of months, rent-free, whereas she regarded for one more job and an reasonably priced condominium, neither of which panned out.

After she suggested us that she was going to cease wanting till she bought again from a cruise, I lastly realized we had been being taken benefit of and needed to ask her to depart.

Earlier than Chris left, we paid off her automotive mortgage to assist her alongside. Since then, she has regularly referred to as to ask for cash as a result of she is aware of I can afford to present it to her. She has requested for and been given cash from different mates as effectively to assist her out together with her medical payments.

The final time she referred to as I lastly put my foot down and instructed her I used to be not going to present her any more cash.

Now I discover myself feeling responsible, however I’m additionally feeling resentful. I do fear about Chris and what’s going to occur to her. Am I flawed for feeling this manner?

– Responsible Buddy

Pricey Buddy: It is sensible that you just’d really feel a sophisticated mixture of feelings. You care about Chris – and have for many years – and also you need what’s greatest for her. You’ve additionally put a variety of power into serving to her out.

However, out of your telling, Chris isn’t being energetic sufficient find options to her monetary troubles. Or, a minimum of, as energetic as you’d want. So, the guilt possible stems from the sensation that you are able to do extra, regardless that you observed that doing extra for Chris may not remedy the underlying concern.