It’s wonderful how far some Key West residents will go within the title of hospitality.
Take me, as an example. Within the early Nineteen Eighties I frolicked with a crowd that, due to some members’ illicit occupations, tried to take care of a low profile. However that wasn’t potential the night time Moses arrived at Canine Seaside.
Earlier than changing into a prophet, Moses was famed Nashville-based photographer Slick Lawson. With credit that included a Jimmy Buffett album cowl shoot, Slick obtained faith after being internally baptized with Barbancourt rum. Sadly, he was my visitor on the time.
In fact, many individuals have had spiritual experiences in Key West’s taverns and different locations of worship. Few, nonetheless, have tried to half the Atlantic Ocean and lead a flock to Cuba.
All of it started fairly innocently. Slick, our crowd and I headed for Louie’s Yard, planning to have an after-dinner drink on the famend restaurant’s oceanside cocktail deck.
The plan went awry as quickly as Slick noticed the small stretch of sand beside the deck.
Referred to as Canine Seaside, it was a spot the place canine might frolic within the water, chase Frisbees or coconuts, and sniff their buddies’ tails. Each night, canine and their house owners gathered there — the pooches to play and their house owners to look at and chat.
By the point we arrived, the canine had dispersed for the night time. The tide was out, and the Atlantic was nonetheless and clear as Russian vodka. The sandy backside stretched invitingly towards Cuba, whereas the total moon overhead shone pale as bone.
A full moon is often blamed for weird habits in lots of locations. However in Key West, the place weird habits is the norm, a full moon is deadly. A full moon in Key West might make Mom Teresa do the cancan.
Its impact on Slick Lawson was on the spot. Muttering one thing concerning the Pink Sea, he walked as if he’d obtained a divine name — down the seashore and straight into the water.
Naturally, I adopted. The person was my visitor. And given my buddies’ need to keep away from the highlight, a newspaper headline like “Outstanding Photographer Drowns Whereas Key Westers Do Nothing” would hardly be appreciated.
Once I reached the water, trailed intently by the others, the errant photographer was as much as his waist and had assumed a completely new persona.
“Come, my kids,” he intoned. “I’ll half the waters and lead you to Cuba.”
He swooped down on a 5-foot piece of submerged PVC pipe, waved it triumphantly aloft, and headed for the open sea.
It was a stirring sight. Although I had no need to stroll to Cuba, Slick’s compadres adopted this southernmost Moses like an obedient flock. As soon as once more mentally reviewing potential newspaper headlines, I splashed resignedly alongside behind them.
Instantly the air was crammed with a raucous noise. Moses had found that, by blowing by means of his PVC pipe, he might create a squawking sound like a conch shell being blown. Solely louder. A lot louder.
As soon as we had been all completely moist — and had expressed our dislike of the PVC live performance — the joy of main a flock apparently had paled. Moses turned and waded towards the unused boat ramp resulting in the cocktail deck at Louie’s.
Demanding robust drink, he delivered a surprisingly coherent Sermon on the Ramp. Then, gesturing again to the water, he leaned towards his fascinated viewers and prodded with a twinkle, “Now, inform me the reality. I do know I didn’t actually half the Atlantic Ocean — however don’t you assume I dented it just a little?”
It’s wonderful how far some Key Westers will go within the title of hospitality. I, nonetheless, had gone far sufficient. After urging Moses and his flock safely ashore, I left them on the newly hallowed sands of Canine Seaside.